... the bob ...

i'm watching the olympics a lot these days. i love to see the competitive spirit at its peak . it's inspiring. i always wanted to be an athlete of olympic proportions. at 12 it dawned on me that "olympic status" was the only way to gain acceptance and praise from my parents . enjoying an activity for fun was for pussies .

i'm also completely enraptured with bob costas' hair . i don't know if it's the TV or the High Def cable attached to my TV . bob's hair is THE perfect color . i sense a trend establishing itself in our social mores . it'll be like it was in the 90s asking for 'the rachel' or last year when everyone was asking for the short, butchy-fem stylings of 'the kate'. the next time i head to see my colorist (hair colorist! geezus i'm not racist) and ask for a bob, it'll have a whole new meaning . i'll be walking out of there with the most magnificantly colored hair in a spectacular shade of shimmering brown-plum-red-blue-black with a peek-a-boo bang.

anyway.

at this point in my life, you certainly are not going to find me slapping skis to my feet, lubing my body to slide into a winterized scuba suit and jumping from exotic heights. all the while doing some pike-back-layout-with five twists-and a slap of the ass-with a stick of the landing . i say exotic because anything that is steep enough to propel me 40 plus feet in the air off a downward slope must hail from the likes of our forefathers who hopped in a skip in search of new land and wound up sunbathing, nude on the shores of some exotic island where currency was measured in fellatio and coconuts . for the love of god - what makes people actually train to do this ? it's like standing in line at the 'select a wound' counter in the local hospital day after day and deciding which limb you're willing to cut off to spite your potential for living a long, normal life .

all the credit to those athletes who are making this shit come to life on my little television screen - i am crazy jealous because obviously your parents love you. but more importantly, you're smokin' hot in a scuba suit.

viva u! s! a!

to the bat-car!