My first 2009 email....

Dear Queenie & KatieGreen

I have cramps and I want to punch someone in the face. I didn’t get any sleep last night because every three hours I had to get up and use the restroom – I’ll leave it at that.

I can barely lift my left arm because I fell on it while I was snow blowing on Wednesday afternoon. Our snow blower is so powerful that it dragged me 3 feet down the road on my side before I could get my right hand free from its devices and stop its churning jaws from barreling down on my neighbors poor unsuspecting dog, Jolly. My arm presented a problem for me last night when at 2 in the morning while trying to go pee, my foot got stuck in my pajama pants and slipped on the tile floor. I tried to keep myself from falling over by catching myself with my left arm, but it’s dead weight. So, I fell forehead first, on to the door. I have a welty bruise the exact size and shape of the lock on the bathroom door handle.

I feel like an asshole because Big R got me egg drop soup last night and I don’t think I was grateful enough. I think I actually said something mean to him about it, and he just said ‘oh okay..’ and turned around to go back upstairs. That kind of guilt gets right to me. Completely bypassing my inherrent 'Snap! Oh No He Didn't' defensive skills. I went upstairs feeling like a jerk and gave him a kiss on the cheek, said thank you a thousand times over, and made small talk that included some affirmation about how he was a hero to me. I don’t think that was enough as I still feel like a total asshole.

Did I tell you that I have cramps and I want to punch someone in the face?

Hope your New Year’s is off to a great start!